Bad Poker Theater

I was apprehensive when I sat down, and so pissed I could hardly see when I stood up a few hours later. For some reason, the local casinos keep killing me.

My first hand, I won a nice $40 pot, then the deck turned cold. This happens to me at the boats a lot, and at some point, I started calling it Bad Poker Theater. Bad Poker Theater isn't participatory, but you want to join in so bad you can taste it. The problem is, to join the troupe you need to go on tilt.

Poor hand selection, raises out of position, ignoring draws -- these are all hallmarks, and after the second hour of throwing away 92o, 83o and K2o while watching everyone at the table rake monster pots with garbage, that A9o under the gun starts looking really nice.

Smart people would walk away when they start sensing the signs. Not me.

The guy sat down immediately to my left, ready to GAMMMBBOOOOLLL! He blew through his first stack in about six hands, rebought, and then the games began. He took down a pot with a pair of fives while playing T5o UTG, he took down another pot with similar crap. That's when he started straddling.

A smart man would have taken his remaining $30 and headed for the door. But I'm not a smart man. Instead, I start playing marginal hands -- Lord, I wanted a pot badly! Suited cards? Great! Aces are golden! Deuces don't looses! Ever. Except that even with the bad cards, missing the flop is missing the flop. And low-limit poker isn't known for it's ease in stealing hands.

And so, on the button, I see A6d. I limp in with four others. The flop? 3-7-5, one diamond. The turn? Ace. I bet, and everyone but Mr. Gamble folds. The river? A 4, giving me the straight. I bet. He raises, I call for my last dollar.

He was playing 68o, giving him the nut straight. Rather than throw a chair at him, I left.

I haven't made it a big secret that I've been frustrated with my inability to turn a profit at local casinos. I do okay online - I'm playing entirely off of profit, having withdrawn my original investment about a month ago. I can win in Vegas. But not here, and it drives me up out of my mind.

But I'm more pissed at myself than anyone else. It should have been abundantly clear that my case of cold deck wasn't going to clear itself up after the third orbit and I should have either switched seats or left. I did neither, and now I leave minus a buy-in.

Self control and patience are everything at poker. I generally play a solid, tight game, but tonight, after months of dropping my bankroll at the boats, I lost it, and as a result, I walked away with a lighter wallet.

I'll go back at some point in the not-so-distant future; hopefully this time with the wisdom to feel the tilt coming on and the strength to get up and walk away, instead of jumping up on stage to fill the roll of junior donkey.

The senior donkey was sitting next to me tonight, counting my chips and preparing to hand them off to the lemmings and fish at the other end of the table.