Enlightenment

That place... is strong with the dark side of the Force. A domain of evil it is. In you must go.
--Brian, talking about Party Poker.

Once upon a time, I believed that reasoning and thinking your way through a problem would lead to a solution. Same thing with poker. Observation, analysis and quick thinking will eventually lead you to the promised land -- or at least a nice big stack of chips. But lately, I've wondered.

Take this hand, for instance. Friday night, I had a home game - a little .50/$1 limit poker. I'm in the big blind and UTG (Chilly) straddles blind. UTG + 1 calls, folds to David in the four seat who raises - blind. I'm sick of getting my blinds stolen, so I raise - blind. Chilly calls - blind. Three blind players and one caller who knows what he has.

Flop is garbage - high card eight - rainbow. I bet. Chilly raises. Matt (the only one who's seen his cards) calls. David raises and I call. Everyone else calls. Eight falls on the turn. We bet around (only one raise as I recall), and the river was nothing. We bet again, and it's time to show the hands. Chilly, who was called, shows overcards (can't remember, I was kind of drunk at the time). Matt shows a pair of fives, giving him two pairs. David shows overcards. I flip my first card and find a sweet, sweet eight! Yep. I was playing the mighty 6-8o blind and won a huge pot. Had I seen those cards, I would have folded them after the raise.

But surely blind luck is no match for keen insight and analysis, right?

No. Take this hand as an example. Just tonight, I'm playing in a three-table SNG on Party. Lately, Party has been treating me like a baby treats a diaper. Anytime someone calls me down with only four outs - he catches it - no matter what.

I have 77 in the big blind. One caller before the button, who raises it to T50. Small blind folds. I call as does the one caller. Flop is 7 A2, with two spades. I lead out with a small bet (3 x BB, which is 15 at this point, so T45), caller raises me to T100 and the button folds. I figure the caller, since he tried limping in, is playing Ax, possibly AK, more likely AQ or AJ. I raise to $200. He pushes. I have him covered by 80, so I call, and sure enough, he has AQo. Sweet. I'm so far ahead of him right now I start giggling.

Until the Ace hits on the turn. But that's okay, because now I have the full house. I've won the hand. He only has three outs - I'm something like a 94% favorite at this point.

So of course, he catches the Queen on the river. The SOB didn't even have the good grace to apologize for sucking out on me. I pushed my last 80 chips in on my 10-8o, wanting to leave the table and leave that godforsaken place.

After much deliberation, I've hit on it - I shall be one with the cards. No more consideration. No more thought. Pot odds? Screw 'em. I have found my calling. I shall be the king of donkeys -- the supreme jackass.

(Needless to say, I'm kind of tilting right now, so I'm going to take a little poker break.)