Poker Blues

Quote of the Night

2006-06-24T06:42:00.000-07:00

"You started as a 4-to-1 dog."

"And I finished as his bitch."

After my all-in pocket 6s were called by pocket 8s -- and then he flopped quads. Ouch.

Sorry for the lengthy disappearance. I have a long post in the makings, which should be out tomorrow. I cut back on the poker and writing about poker to figure a few things out. Not that it worked, but at least I have a clear head.

Later.

Apparently Lightning CAN Strike Twice

2006-02-25T19:29:00.000-08:00

Anybody know what the odds are for being knocked out of two SNGs (back-to-back) when your opponents flop quads? Just wondering. I guess I can say that at least I'm not getting knocked out by weak hands -- not that it helps. Wow.

Ethics

2006-02-21T17:47:00.000-08:00

A couple of weekends ago, I headed down to a local theater to catch Harry Potter on the IMAX. It's a long movie, and I have the bladder of a six-year-old girl, so I had to hit the head about halfway through the movie.

While taking care of business at a stall, I was reading one of the convenient ads placed at eye level. Personally, I prefer newspapers, but hey any entertainment is welcome. However, this one kept my attention for a bit longer than typical.

It was an ad telling readers about Party Poker -- except that it was advertising http://partypoker.com -- not http://partypoker.net like Party's television ads normally do - plus, this ad was saying you could play for real money; again, something Party's normal advertising shies away from.

Reading on, the ad writer says you can get a $25 bonus if you use the listed bonus code (which was tied into St. Louis --- I don't want to publish it) and if you had any questions, to write the writer - AT A YAHOO ADDRESS!

It hit me after a second; this dude is trolling for bonuses!

I'm torn by this:

On the one hand, I admire him for thinking up a fairly clever way to build up some bonus money; however,
He's essentially passing himself off as a representative of Party, something he's clearly not. In addition, he's not mentioning that HE gets a $50 bonus for every person he signs up, and they get $25 after playing x number of raked hands.

When my brother, Dimebag, used me as a referral when he signed up on Party, he knew I was getting a bigger bonus. I wasn't hiding anything from him, and on top of that, we can't play on the same table. This is not a big deal, but I know I'd be a little curious as to why I was kicked off a table when I don't know anyone else playing on it, yet Party says I do.

Another issue that I think bears consideration is that EVERY ad I've seen for the poker sites stresses that they are NOT gambling sites -- you go to their .net version, where it's not real money. Internet gambling is currently under debate in the House (more on that in a later post); I don't think the sites are too willing to rock the boat much; realistically, everyone knows why they're there, but if you're not going to obey the letter of the law, you'd better look like you're at least honoring the spirit. Granted, an ad in a movie theater men's room isn't getting much exposure, but let's say someone takes out a similar ad in a local paper or on late-night television?

I think what this guy (or woman, for that matter) is being more than a little sneaky and dishonest; I'm not planning on contacting Party about this, because, frankly, it's really not any of my business. However, if you want to lie to me at the poker table, that's one thing -- I expect it and welcome it, it's part of the game, after all. If you want to be dishonest away from the tables, that's something else entirely, and passing yourself off as a representative of Party is a pretty weak way to make a few dollars.

Ugh

2006-01-31T10:15:00.000-08:00

If I have too many more nights like last night, I'm changing my online name to Santa Claus, since I keep doubling up all the good short stacks throughout Party.

I'm Number Four!!!!!

2006-01-11T19:21:00.000-08:00

I know, I've been gone for awhile. After Vegas, I decided to take a little poker break. I played in some home games and made one trip to the boat.

The home tournament was good, I won, but I wasn't particularly happy about my play. After that I played in a couple of SNGs on Party, where I promptly bounced out on the second hand in both of them (my pocket kings ran into aces; my big slick with a flopped ace lost to A9 when he turned a 9 -- it happens). Needless to say, some bad luck and it happens, but I still wasn't really happy with my play.

So we hit the boat this weekend; I was catching decent cards, but when I'd flop top or second pair, it wouldn't hold up, or I'd be chased off the pot. Raises had me seeing monsters around the corner and peeking out of the closet, and I clutched my blanket, stuck my thumb in my mouth and ran away crying. In short, I was playing like a wuss.

In any case, I wasn't stuck as badly as Chilly and Marty, but what the hell, it was my birthday celebration.

After a little soul searching, I figured out the big problem -- in the SNGs, I was only playing at L1, not trying to put my opponents on hands; at the boat, I was playing scared L2 -- everyone hit their flush or were slowplaying aces. Had I been a little more aggressive, I probably could have been at least a little profitable for the night.

With a little time to kill, I decided to hit Party for a little SNG action, but I gave myself a few rules:

Consider each move before making it; don't insta-call or raise
Try putting your opponent on a range of hands and then act accordingly
Remember to have fun

Pretty self-explanatory, huh? One would think, but for some reason, I keep slipping back into old, bad habits, and it's killing my game.

In the SNG, I had a huge chip lead by the third hand (pocket aces that hold up against five players is a miraculous, beautiful thing); I found myself playing patient poker. I took notes on opponents, and for once, I used position.

Unfortunately, the poker gods kicked me square in the nuts when, in a battle of the blinds, I flopped top two pair (A8). My opponent caught bottom pair (35o) and pushed after my small bet. I called, figuring he was playing an ace. Nope. However, he turned and rivered a 2 and a 4 to cripple me.

There were six players remaining at that point; rather than tilt off my remaining chips, I held out to bounce on the bubble when my pocket 7s lost to a rivered ace. I even climbed back to second in chips for a few hands.

Normally, I'd be steaming and raging at the bad beats, but I'm not. I'm actually pretty happy. I bought a couple of pots. When I had the best hand, my chips were in the pot. Bad luck happens; not much I can do about it. But for once, I wasn't playing only the cards on the table, and I wasn't jumping at my own shadow. And most importantly, I was enjoying myself more than I have while playing poker in quite some time.

Even though I didn't get paid off in the end, I'm happy about it. But next time? I'm getting paid dammit!

Eight Days Out

2005-11-30T11:20:00.000-08:00

With Vegas only a few short days away, I've been working on whipping my game into something akin to shape -- unlike me, who's in perfect shape: all round. BA-DUM-DUM!!!

Anyway, things have been going pretty well for me. I had my first money finish in a MTT -- 71st out of 767. Didn't get paid much, but profit is profit. I started out making good decisions and playing tight and very aggressive. The deck was hitting me hard early. Things cooled off as I approached the bubble and had to play uber-tight - my stack was getting too small to stand up to much pressure, and the blinds were starting to hurt a lot. Fortunately, things worked out. Next goal: final table.

Limit and SNGs have also been going well - I finish in the money in SNGs about 70% of the time, including a five-win streak. That helped a lot.

In any case, Vegas looms near, and I can't freakin' wait. Eight days . . .

Miscellaneous Miscellaney

2005-11-14T18:03:00.000-08:00

Apparently, the poker gods have decided to cut me some slack. After seeing aces send me packing in four straight tournaments (I had them, and they were cracked wide open every time), (Oh yeah -- Marty sucks) I finally had them hold up in a four-way all-in. I didn't want to open my eyes, but couldn't look away.

Things have improved somewhat -- I've been making a lot of money finishes in the $10 SNGs on Party. Up until a few weeks ago, I could not cash in the $10 tournaments to save my life. Hopefully, this streak will continue.

Longer post later this week -- especially after I clean up in the Dr. Jeff Invitational Thursday.

Not Safe for Work

2005-11-03T18:05:00.000-08:00

[rant]
What the fuck do I have to do to get a hand to hold up? I mean I know I would certainly cold call a T200 raise with my JQo, followed by a T400 bet on a 235 board, followed by the all in when my jacks paired. Maybe the I HAVE ACES sign fell off? Maybe you can't fucking read? MAYBE YOU'RE JUST A TOTAL MORON!!!!!!! I know I feel good that you caught your Q on the river, thereby rewarding your generally donkey-like behavior. (Yes, I know I want him playing like that, but fuck, can I win a fucking race just once?)
[/rant]

I'm staying away from poker until Saturday night. At least there I can beat one of the jackasses over the head with a chair. Thanks to Party, I can't even flame the jackoff after he bounced me.

Chip and a Chair

2005-10-20T20:53:00.000-07:00

Home game --- five players remaining. I was in the four seat, David to my left, table maniac #1 bounced first, maniac #2 to my right, and Mr. Uber-tight, formerly to my right, just bounced. Normally, I'd be happy, except that I was down to T70.

I started with a brutal card dead, and then I couldn't catch a draw. I blew a good chunk of my stack on pocket 10s -- unfortunately the flop was all overcards, and in this game, aces never fold.

Finally, UTG, I saw paint and pushed -- J4o-- normally, I wouldn't give it the time of day, but I needed to get that Harrington "first-in vigorish" working for me. My 4 paired up and I quadrupled up.

I pushed again in the big blind, and doubled up yet again. Suddenly, the future wasn't nearly so bleak. Cards started hitting. I stopped playing out of position and started stealing blinds. David pushed and I called; my pocket 9s held against his pocket 8s (ouch -- sorry Dave) and I doubled up yet again. Jason fell next. Finally, I pushed out the bubble, and I was in the money.

Against the remaining maniac.

Who had no idea how to play heads-up. He was aggressive, but he could be pushed out of hands if you pushed back. I figured it out early.

I started out having his stack doubled; unfortunately, he sucked out on me and I was behind. Instead of settling for second place and breaking even, I pushed the aggression level up, recaptured the lead and walked out with a nice win.

Any night where you go from T1300 to T70 and back to T9100 is a pretty damn good night, if I say so myself.

Confidence

2005-10-11T17:54:00.000-07:00

I've been on a poor run lately; my bankroll is hurting and worse, my confidence has been shot. Shelly mentions this in a post -- bummer tilt.

With angry tilt, you at least can be aggressive and chase people out of the pot, but when you limp on AKs on the button and with no callers because you expect to lose, well, you're going to lose. Period.

But after watching your flopped set of queens lose to a miracle flush -- twice in a day, you start seeing pocket aces and flopped sets in everyone else's cards, and when you play scared, poker is no damn fun.

And that's where I was -- until last weekend.

I decided to play a freeroll on Party, and Christ, it was like walking into a Wild West Saloon on free whiskey night.

These idiots would raise -- and even better, call with any ace -- even if it didn't hit. All in with 1,000 chips - to win 30, was the order of the day. And as the game wore on, the play became tighter and tighter.

I was running along, building up towards a chip lead, when disaster struck. I tried betting second pair into a calling station and was nearly crippled, so I bounced in 60th or so place -- out of 1,700. Unfortunately, top 30 paid.

So even though there was no money for me, playing a game where solid play generally held up and fools would push all-in as frequently as they drew a breath, helped me see that losing isn't a foregone conclusion - or even a destined one.

Unless you put yourself in that situation to begin with. I'm looking forward to getting back into the money games shortly. Vegas awaits, and I need to build the bankroll.

Look Out, Byeeotches

2005-10-01T17:25:00.000-07:00

I have registered to play in the
Online Poker Blogger Championship!

This event is powered by PokerStars.

Registration code: 2023017

Tournament Time

2005-09-24T11:40:00.000-07:00

I walked into the tournament somewhat apprehensive; I've been running bad for awhile. Whenever I start changing aspects of my game, my bankroll shrivels up and crawls south, but this game has been good to me. So there but for the grace of God, I went.

This month's tournament was a little shorthanded, normally it's around 20 players, tonight, only ten. I sat down in the nine seat and the games began. I learned early that the looser, aggressive players were on my right and the tighter players were on my left. Good. Unfortunately, I went card dead almost from the start.

Early on, I picked up Kjo in late position and saw the flop - KJx rainbow. I bet the pot to chase out the draws and had one caller, who raised me on the turn after a blank fell. I put him on either king-crap kicker (K5 or K6) or a set, but the set didn't seem right; his betting patterns (thank you Harrington) didn't add up to a set, so I called his raise and his bet on the river. A few seconds later, I was stacking my newly-acquired chips when he flipped his K5 soooted.

Card dead, card dead, card dead. Later, there are five of us left. I catch pocket fives UTG and limp in. David (aka Dimebag), to my left, raises. I call, and the flop falls king high rainbow. He checked on the flop, and on the turn after a rag fell, he pushed. Back into the tank -- I was thinking if he caught the flop, he would have slowplayed it a little more. Pushing all in was a "don't call me" move. The more I thought about it, it seemed right, and if I was wrong, so be it. My fives held -- his AT didn't improve.

Down to two, I pushed all in on pocket 6s and my opponent had AQ. He won. My second place winnings covered my buy-in for the second game.

More card dead. Card dead. Dead cards. Cold decks.

With the blinds creeping up and my stack shrinking down, it was time to make a move. I pushed on QTc and sucked out on AJd to double up. I started taking down pots. I knocked out another player, doubling up again. Four left, and my stack is starting to shrink a little -- I probably was in third. Top two paid, so I needed a few more chips to start making more moves.

An ill-advised steal attempt UTG hurt when two players after me pushed and I had to get the hell out of dodge. Finally, I see a sweet sight -- Hiltons. So help me, I think one of them winked at me. I was on the button and had a potential monster. David, to my right this time, put in a 3X BB raise, I smile and push.

So did the maniac to my left. Not expected, but he was calling with anything so I wasn't too concerned. Jason and David folded, and I flipped my Hiltons.

Who ran screaming and crying before his aces. Ouch.

It stinged a little more when one of the railbirds said to David, "Didn't you fold KQ?" Sigh.

So I went home, even for the night. However, it was valuable; playing heads-up against some of these guys will pay off more down the road.

I'm ready for next month.

Ponderings

2005-09-13T19:32:00.000-07:00

This is not a bad beat story; I'm finished with those.

Actually, it's a question of how to play a hand that's been on my mind for a week or so.

Here's the situation: $5 SNG on Party; it's very early in the tournament - the second level has just started. I'm in the small blind with Hiltons. Four players limp to the #8 seat, who raises it to 60 (blinds are 15/30). Action folds to me, where I think for a second and decide to call, figuring I can disguise my strong hand and strike hard on the flop.

Unfortunately, there are five of us in the hand. Not what I wanted. However, I get a reprieve when the flop is J-7-3 rainbow. I bet the pot (T300), action folds to the 5 seat, who pushes all in. Action folds to me.

Back in the tank, I start kicking myself for not raising pre-flop, but I can't dwell on that. He might have a set, but his push indicated to me that he didn't want a caller. The more I thought about it, the more I decided he was on a steal. He had me slightly outstacked, so I called.

He showed his QTo (WTF?), I showed my queens, and he caught 9 on the turn and K on the river for his straight. That's poker.

I don't blame him; I blame me. I'm thinking I should have gone ahead and raised - especially since I was in a lousy position, but I was hoping to hide my hand's strength. I'm thinking that I was so clever I knocked myself out of the tournament (assuming my opponent would have folded to a big raise -- always a questionable prospect).

Any thoughts or suggestions?

New Rules

2005-09-06T17:04:00.000-07:00

Not all my play sucked on Friday night, I realized after a little after-action soul searching. Early on, I used position and played only strong hands. If the pot size didn't warrant a call, I folded.

However, patience and frustration are my biggest leaks. So I'm setting a few new rules for myself and see how it will help or hurt my play next session.

The rules:

If card dead for two full orbits, get up and take a walk. Upon returning, if the cold decking continues, switch seats or find a new table.
Unless it's ultra-low limit poker, or I have a total monster, fold any and all straddle hands. They almost always piss me off, and that's not how I want to be playing a hand.
If it's no longer fun, leave the damn table.
Take a walk after any bad beat. Don't be pissed at the jackass, just learn from his or her mistakes. Vowing revenge is a stupid and potentially expensive move.
Deciding I'm going to "win it all back" really means I'm about to hand one or more buy-ins to the rest of the table. If there's nothing there, there's nothing there. Move on.

Hopefully, this will help my bankroll from taking another big smack in the crotch.

Bad Poker Theater

2005-09-03T00:43:00.000-07:00

I was apprehensive when I sat down, and so pissed I could hardly see when I stood up a few hours later. For some reason, the local casinos keep killing me.

My first hand, I won a nice $40 pot, then the deck turned cold. This happens to me at the boats a lot, and at some point, I started calling it Bad Poker Theater. Bad Poker Theater isn't participatory, but you want to join in so bad you can taste it. The problem is, to join the troupe you need to go on tilt.

Poor hand selection, raises out of position, ignoring draws -- these are all hallmarks, and after the second hour of throwing away 92o, 83o and K2o while watching everyone at the table rake monster pots with garbage, that A9o under the gun starts looking really nice.

Smart people would walk away when they start sensing the signs. Not me.

The guy sat down immediately to my left, ready to GAMMMBBOOOOLLL! He blew through his first stack in about six hands, rebought, and then the games began. He took down a pot with a pair of fives while playing T5o UTG, he took down another pot with similar crap. That's when he started straddling.

A smart man would have taken his remaining $30 and headed for the door. But I'm not a smart man. Instead, I start playing marginal hands -- Lord, I wanted a pot badly! Suited cards? Great! Aces are golden! Deuces don't looses! Ever. Except that even with the bad cards, missing the flop is missing the flop. And low-limit poker isn't known for it's ease in stealing hands.

And so, on the button, I see A6d. I limp in with four others. The flop? 3-7-5, one diamond. The turn? Ace. I bet, and everyone but Mr. Gamble folds. The river? A 4, giving me the straight. I bet. He raises, I call for my last dollar.

He was playing 68o, giving him the nut straight. Rather than throw a chair at him, I left.

I haven't made it a big secret that I've been frustrated with my inability to turn a profit at local casinos. I do okay online - I'm playing entirely off of profit, having withdrawn my original investment about a month ago. I can win in Vegas. But not here, and it drives me up out of my mind.

But I'm more pissed at myself than anyone else. It should have been abundantly clear that my case of cold deck wasn't going to clear itself up after the third orbit and I should have either switched seats or left. I did neither, and now I leave minus a buy-in.

Self control and patience are everything at poker. I generally play a solid, tight game, but tonight, after months of dropping my bankroll at the boats, I lost it, and as a result, I walked away with a lighter wallet.

I'll go back at some point in the not-so-distant future; hopefully this time with the wisdom to feel the tilt coming on and the strength to get up and walk away, instead of jumping up on stage to fill the roll of junior donkey.

The senior donkey was sitting next to me tonight, counting my chips and preparing to hand them off to the lemmings and fish at the other end of the table.

Variance is a Cruel Master

2005-08-29T19:20:00.000-07:00

About two weeks ago, I decided to try a different game - I was going to head off into the wilds of 7-Card Stud.

Ignorance and not really knowing how to play? Not a problem! I'm smart. I can learn, and by last Saturday, I was the greatest stud player to ever grace the .50 - $1 tables, having walked away with twice my buy-in on three sessions.

You can see where this is going, right?

I'm happy to report that I've handed nearly all of my profits right back. It's one of those nights where instead of hitting me in the face, the deck kicked me in the nuts. Repeatedly. I'd catch a flush - and run right into a full house. I'd catch two pairs, only to see someone catch a set on 7th street.

I'm still enjoying the game, but I clearly need a little work. Any reading suggestions or tips? I'd welcome them.

Extreme Pain (or How I Kicked Myself in the Junk)

2005-08-15T18:28:00.000-07:00

Dear readers, let this serve as a warning to you on how NOT to play a hand. Saturday, David, ToM, Chilly and I played in a very fishy $25 home tournament. I was sitting in pretty good standing: nine players left, blinds at T75 - 150, and I have approx. T3500 in chips. One stack has me dwarfed, one is around mine and the rest have fewer chips.

UTG, I look down to see AKo. Nice. I bet T450 - and the small stack pushes for T460. Action folds to the small blind (roughly the same number of chips), who softly cursed when I raised. He called the bet. Figuring (rightly) that I had him dominated, I called - and then I couldn't figure out why my boys felt like someone just took a hammer to them.

The flop - J-4-rag rainbow. Small blind checks. I bet T1000. After much hemming and hawing, he calls. This is not what I wanted, so when another four spikes on the turn, I push. And he calls. I now figure he has a jack, and I'm not feeling very good about this hand any longer.

I show my big slick, as does the small stack. And the small blind shows his QJs. Crap. Now down to four outs to chop the small main pot and win the side, I watch the rag fall on the river and I started thinking about hitting the boats, since it turns out the small blind had me covered.

After getting over my irritation at being called with QJs, I realized that it was my own fault. I should have pushed pre-flop instead of calling the (small) raise. The small blind probably would have folded. Had ne not done so, then I would have cursed his name and called him a donkey, but I let him in the pot.

So I'm sure that the small blind enjoyed finishing in the money for a second time while I headed off to the casinos - for another fun session of junk-kicking.

Overall, I was fairly happy with my play, but I need to be more aggressive on these hands, and not trust that a draw like big slick (granted, a strong one), will hold up to several callers. I didn't put my chips in when I had the best hand - I did it with the second best hand, which kept me from cashing in on this tournament a second time.

Until next month.

Some MTT Play

2005-08-04T19:39:00.000-07:00

Just bounced out of a Party Poker 2000 player MTT in 379th. I was getting short stacked and pushed on pocket kings UTG - they ran into A9d and he caught the wheel. Ouch. C'est la vie.

Overall, I was pretty happy with my play. I stole a few pots, and I was generally patient and waited until I had decent cards to play. When I was in a pot, I played aggressively and didn't back off too many hands (unless I was pretty sure I was beat). It cost me a couple of times, but I've been working on playing more aggressively.

It's the fourth time I've played in one of those tournaments. The first time, I bounced out around 700, the second, around 1000, the third 600, so I'm seeing some progress - even if the low payout is $1.70, it would have been nice to finish in the money.

What the hell, it's good practice for next weekend's two-table donkeyfest and the upcoming Bradoween Open.

Good Times

2005-08-01T20:24:00.000-07:00

Man, I wish I was not slumming the super low-limit tables tonight. I'm even happier I found someone to pay me all the way down:

***** Hand History for Game 2463196261 *****
$0.50/$1 Texas Hold'em - Monday, August 01, 23:22:38 EDT 2005
Table Table 32371 (Real Money)
Seat 8 is the button
Total number of players : 10
Seat 1: mikeyb107 ( $11 )
Seat 2: TheForce4 ( $12 )
Seat 3: emoknights ( $3.25 )
Seat 4: ryg26 ( $26 )
Seat 5: sdbakerty ( $28 )
Seat 6: ChipChairman ( $33 )
Seat 7: pdg63376 ( $24 )
Seat 9: Artsemis ( $9 )
Seat 8: brianm94 ( $24 )
Seat 10: kimchhe ( $30.25 )
Artsemis posts small blind [$0.25].
kimchhe posts big blind [$0.50].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to brianm94 [ 4d 3d ]
mikeyb107 calls [$0.50].
TheForce4 calls [$0.50].
emoknights folds.
ryg26 folds.
sdbakerty folds.
ChipChairman folds.
pdg63376 folds.
brianm94 calls [$0.50].
Artsemis calls [$0.25].
kimchhe checks.
** Dealing Flop ** [ Ad, 5d, 2d ]
Artsemis bets [$0.50].
kimchhe folds.
mikeyb107 folds.
TheForce4 folds.
brianm94 raises [$1].
Artsemis raises [$1].
brianm94 raises [$1].
Artsemis calls [$0.50].
** Dealing Turn ** [ 8d ]
Artsemis bets [$1].
brianm94 raises [$2].
Artsemis calls [$1].
** Dealing River ** [ Th ]
Artsemis checks.
brianm94 bets [$1].
Artsemis calls [$1].
brianm94 shows [ 4d, 3d ] a straight flush, five high.
Artsemis doesn't show [ Td, 9d ] a flush, ace high.
brianm94 wins $11.75 from the main pot with a straight flush, five high.

Bubble Boy

2005-07-21T15:56:00.000-07:00

Last November, I won a home tournament. I played smart, caught cards, and I made only one big mistake the whole evening. So I figured, why not return and see if I can repeat?

The answer: no. But I came close.

First off, the play was just as poor as I remembered: people will call you down with any A-crap, very little betting strategy and generally loose-passive play.

So the deck, of course, froze me out.

I played maybe two hands in the first three levels: one I folded because the flop missed me by a mile. The second I played pocket fives and flopped a full house: fives full of queens, and the calling stations paid me off nicely.

Clawing my way to the final table, I had a nice stack -- somewhere in the middle, but no cards. When we made it to the bubble, the table tightened up. In fact, it clenched so hard I think it blew an o-ring. To quote Otis, we needed a priest to administer last rites.

If you raised, everyone would fold. Anytime they would raise, I would have nothing - nothing worth calling them with. The guy to my right was constantly short-stacked, but every time he'd push, I'd have something like 5-2 or 3-6. Finally, I caught KQo under the gun and put in a raise.

Mr. Big Stack lept over the top and I had to make a decision. So, of course, I made the wrong one and called. It was purely an emotional decision - I was hungry and bored, and it cost me big. My KQo ran smack into his AKs and slinked away, whimpering.

In hindsight, I should have played even more aggressively - and figured out that Mr. Big also was uber-tight, so calling him wasn't really a good idea.

However, I also now know the game is very beatable, so I plan to return next month and reclaim my title.

Enlightenment

2005-07-05T18:44:00.000-07:00

That place... is strong with the dark side of the Force. A domain of evil it is. In you must go.
--Brian, talking about Party Poker.

Once upon a time, I believed that reasoning and thinking your way through a problem would lead to a solution. Same thing with poker. Observation, analysis and quick thinking will eventually lead you to the promised land -- or at least a nice big stack of chips. But lately, I've wondered.

Take this hand, for instance. Friday night, I had a home game - a little .50/$1 limit poker. I'm in the big blind and UTG (Chilly) straddles blind. UTG + 1 calls, folds to David in the four seat who raises - blind. I'm sick of getting my blinds stolen, so I raise - blind. Chilly calls - blind. Three blind players and one caller who knows what he has.

Flop is garbage - high card eight - rainbow. I bet. Chilly raises. Matt (the only one who's seen his cards) calls. David raises and I call. Everyone else calls. Eight falls on the turn. We bet around (only one raise as I recall), and the river was nothing. We bet again, and it's time to show the hands. Chilly, who was called, shows overcards (can't remember, I was kind of drunk at the time). Matt shows a pair of fives, giving him two pairs. David shows overcards. I flip my first card and find a sweet, sweet eight! Yep. I was playing the mighty 6-8o blind and won a huge pot. Had I seen those cards, I would have folded them after the raise.

But surely blind luck is no match for keen insight and analysis, right?

No. Take this hand as an example. Just tonight, I'm playing in a three-table SNG on Party. Lately, Party has been treating me like a baby treats a diaper. Anytime someone calls me down with only four outs - he catches it - no matter what.

I have 77 in the big blind. One caller before the button, who raises it to T50. Small blind folds. I call as does the one caller. Flop is 7 A2, with two spades. I lead out with a small bet (3 x BB, which is 15 at this point, so T45), caller raises me to T100 and the button folds. I figure the caller, since he tried limping in, is playing Ax, possibly AK, more likely AQ or AJ. I raise to $200. He pushes. I have him covered by 80, so I call, and sure enough, he has AQo. Sweet. I'm so far ahead of him right now I start giggling.

Until the Ace hits on the turn. But that's okay, because now I have the full house. I've won the hand. He only has three outs - I'm something like a 94% favorite at this point.

So of course, he catches the Queen on the river. The SOB didn't even have the good grace to apologize for sucking out on me. I pushed my last 80 chips in on my 10-8o, wanting to leave the table and leave that godforsaken place.

After much deliberation, I've hit on it - I shall be one with the cards. No more consideration. No more thought. Pot odds? Screw 'em. I have found my calling. I shall be the king of donkeys -- the supreme jackass.

(Needless to say, I'm kind of tilting right now, so I'm going to take a little poker break.)

Home Game

2005-06-30T16:21:00.000-07:00

I'm hosting the St. Louis home game tomorrow night. Should be easy pickings.

Seriously, though, it'll be nice to play in a live game. I've been playing online only since Vegas, and I can certainly use the interaction. And the cash.

Thanks to online play, I have the composure of a terrier - I gleefully giggle when I catch a flop. I screech on bad beats and I talk to myself like, well, I usually do. In any case, I need to deal with that. I'm not trying too hard to build the crazy guy table image.

Anyway, back to the land of suckouts and guppies that is Party. Tomorrow, chumps!

Jolly Happy Soul, my ass!

2005-06-22T18:21:00.000-07:00

Snowmen. I hate them. They bring me nothing but pain, grief and a smaller chip stack. I hereby vow that I shall never, never, never play the damned things again. Period.

Vegas in 36 Hours Pt. II - The One That Got Away

2005-06-14T19:46:00.000-07:00

I sat back down at the $1-3 tables with one goal: drunkenness in three short hours.

Mission accomplished. I don't remember too many hands, but hunger, tiredness and growing rage at the endless suckouts drove me from the table. That, and one lesson in what happens when you play A-crap: you lose.

So $30 down, I wandered over to Pizza Hut for a little post-drinking food, and I packed - I was leaving in eleven hours, and I needed to be prepared. I found my way over to the MGM Grand poker room, and after an hour wait, I was sitting at a $2-4 table and looking at my first hand - pocket aces.

Miraculously, they held, and I was profitable. And it was a killer table. I met with a couple of bloggers, helilxx and Cam. Seated next to me, was the Horniest Man Alive. At one point, I thought I felt his hand on my thigh. Fortunately, there were plenty of cocktail waitresses, masseuses, and women at the table, so my virtue remained intact.

The fish at this table were particularly juicy - they called down everything. One woman sat down with $100, paid it to the rest of the table over an hour, cashed in another $100, and bled herself dry. And for once, she wasn't sucking out on everything - although her K3c did crack my pocket kings. C'est la vie.

Two guys sat down at the table and started talking about Kansas City. I mentioned I was from St. Louis, and that began talk of 1985. I let it go for about 10 seconds and asked them how the World Series went for them last year (yes, the Cards folded like I usually do, but at least they were there). When they left the table broke, I almost felt guilt. Fortunately, most of their chips were stacked in front of me, so I had some comfort.

Then came the hand.

Unfortunately, good times end. I had doubled my buy-in, and was slowly bleeding it back. The deck had run frigid. It was about 3:30, and I was starting to think about hitting the pavement. I was dealt K-10c in middle position. The button raised it preflop, but I figured I could see the flop, which came up Ac and two spades. There were four of us in the pot - first player bet, second raised, and I folded, figuring I was up against a set, two pairs, and/or a flush draw. The turn showed Jc, and the river brought the Qc. Christ. I folded a straight flush. Not only a straight flush - the nut straight flush.

I've thought this one out many times since it happened, and I can't fault myself for folding. To catch the flush, I would have had to catch runner-runner clubs - granted I had eleven outs, but the odds of catching both of them weren't that good, especially if I was up against a flush draw and a set (which I was), so this hand goes down in history as the one that got away. Shit.

Four hands later, I cashed out and emerged into the warm desert air. I needed a shower and sleep, but those were still off in the future (and splashing water in your face in the airport bathroom isn't all that refreshing).

Now I've decompressed, and I'm ready to return. Who's ready for the return trip?

Vegas in 36 Hours, Pt. I

2005-06-06T17:22:00.000-07:00

It's always better on holiday,
It's so much better on holiday,
That's why we're always workin'
'Cause we need the money.

The line stretched on and on. Fortunately, the line moved, the air was cool and my iPod was fully charged. After some early protests, my stretched out legs felt good. It was nice to stand once again.

Hours earlier, I boarded a plane with little more than a boarding pass and a pocket full of cash. And I sat. And sat. And sat. Denver International was closed. We needed more fuel. We had to change course to avoid the storms. The excuses piled up as if fate was trying to keep me from a few short hours in Vegas.

But there I stood, patiently waiting for a cab, and finally, I stood in the front of the line and before long, was sitting at a $1-$3 table at the Excalibur.

And two hours later, I left the table, $30 poorer. Christ, I'd forgotten about the fun of No-Fold'em. Couple that with a deck so cold it burned my fingers, and I'm lucky I didn't drop more money. I think I saw three flops all night - and only took one down. Brutal. At least the beers were free.

Tomorrow: A little drunken $1-3 action and a little redemption for St. Louis. Oh, and a fold that will haunt me for the rest of time.

In the Tank

2005-04-06T19:30:00.000-07:00

After three weeks of suckouts, bad beats and generally shitty play on my part, I'm holding out from poker until this weekend, when I make my triumphant return for a home game.

It seems I've adopted a new, improved, tight-weak style of play. It's a blast; you don't play many hands, and the ones you do play, you fold right away. Try it some time.

In the meantime, I've been reading some Theory of Poker. I think it'll straighten my game out, but most of all, I need to stop listening to my instincts; they're killing me at the tables.

I'll Take Ass-Kicking for $1000, Alex

2005-03-28T18:49:00.000-08:00

I need a sacrifice.

The poker gods are angry at me; my draws are drawing dead, my hands are being washed away on the river, and I think I'm becoming even more obsessed with poker.

Any suggestions for a good sacrifice to the poker gods would be welcomed - except for cash. I've given them plenty of that lately.